This one word…

I am having an incredibly bad day. I have bounced between tears and anger so many times today that I can’t even believe it. At one point, I clenched my fists so hard that I hurt my finger. I have a million reasons why… In fact, I originally started this post by listing all those reasons and the failed attempts to make today better. That is absurd. I know the real reason:

DEPRESSION.

This disease has controlled my life for as long as I can remember and I’m desperate to turn it around. I fully acknowledge that these emotions and thoughts are caused by chemicals in my brain not behaving properly, and to dwell on the ridiculousness that my mind creates is just plain stupid.

I WILL BEAT THIS. And I am going to start right now by writing out a list of all things good.

I am engaged to my best friend – the man of my dreams (literally)
I have friends who love me and care about me
I have family who love me and care about me
I have a good job with even better bosses
I have health insurance
I have money to feed myself, to go to school –even to have fun and go shopping
I am good at my job
I am a good person

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My Name is Beth – Nice to meet you!

Holly - She's bad ass.

Holly – She’s bad ass.

I have so many thoughts -mostly random nonsense- on a day to day basis that I need somewhere for them to go. Along with that, I have also been going through some major life changes and feel that I have grown so much, etc… I’ve decided to start a blog. Lucky you! (Please don’t let this deter you >.<)

I'm 24 years old, and I live with my boyfriend of 6.5 years. I also work a typical 9-5 job at a law firm, will soon be be taking a summer class at the local college and working Friday/Saturday nights at a friends bar.

Although I work at a law firm and hold the title of "Legal Administrative Assistant", I do not actually work for attorneys or do any legal work. GASP. I work for people called compliance specialists. If you know what that is, you deserve a cookie -or a beer. Whichever is more suitable for you. I will not bore you with the details of my job, but will tell you that I am very greatful to be able to say that I actually love working for my bosses.

At home, as I mentioned before, I live with my boyfriend and my 11 year old baby, Holly. She's a pretty cool cat (as you can see from her pic). Although, no offense to her, I will never have a cat again… I just don't think I could ever find a cat as chill as she is (not to mention that I really don't enjoy having the poo box in my house).